don’t loan me a book… EVER.


Dear friends, family, and all city libraries…

You should never loan me a book, no matter how much I beg.

Reason #1:
Piper: AKA “Chewy McChewerson”

piper cat

Piper is a chewer. Papers, boxes, springy door stops, and especially corners of books. Catnip? Not interested. The lastest “beach read”? Oh, hell yeah. She had her way with the last book I checked out from the library. I so humbly took it to the counter, hoping they would forgive me and consider my tax dollars penance enough, but instead they wanted $28- to replace a paperback. Um no. They did let me buy a used copy on Amazon and exchange that.

Reason #2:
Morrissey: AKA “The world is my litterbox, man…”

morriessey cat

Mo ended up finding himself on antibiotics for a couple weeks after he decided to rebel against the litterbox. He found a borrowed copy of Mockingjay and my city election ballot to be the perfect place to take a pee. No, I didn’t end up voting for mayor this time around, and I discovered my cat is a bit of an anarchist.

To make matters worse, I borrowed the Hunger Games series from a friend that bought them while on vacation in England. So yeah, they were the British version (I could hardly notice a difference besides the extra “u” in colour & flavour). I will say I’m a good borrower in that I didn’t want to replace it with a book that didn’t match the rest of the set, so I ordered a new copy from ebay U.K. Being the anglophile I am, I secretly enjoyed pretending I was British and paying for the book in pounds.

In summation, don’t ever let me borrow your 1st edition Moby Dick.

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6 Responses to don’t loan me a book… EVER.

  1. Miki says:

    Hahaha! This post is hilarious, Lisa! I can’t believe your kitties have destroyed so many books, haha. Maybe they’re trying to get you to teach them to read???

    So, I’ll never loan you a book …. or a cell phone, hahaha, kidding! :P

    Hope you have a great weekend! ;D

  2. Jessa says:

    Bahaha. At least you replaced the books!

  3. LOL That is hilarious!! And it kind of really sucks that you had to fork over the money to replace those books! :/ Naughty kitties!!

  4. Jenna says:

    Hahahaha…sorry…your pain is my entertainment apparently. I FEEL your pain though…out of my four evil felines I have 2 that prefer to spend their days looking for alternative chew toys rather than basking in the hot FL sun like good cats.

    I cant believe the library wanted that much for a used paperback! And I ordered a dress from a UK site and felt all fancy because it was in Euros. Granted my calculation of the exchange rate wasnt so hot.

    Thanks for sharing the evil cat saga :)


  5. Suzanne says:

    Oh gosh, I just laughed out loud at “The world is my litterbox, man!”

    Such a funny post. And I can’t believe the library wanted $28 for a paperback! HAHA

  6. Dus says:

    oh no those little stinkers!!! maybe you could thrift an awesome little wooden box to keep on the coffee table and put books in or something? although of course it would be hard to remember. I’ve been dying to get a cat (or 2) for the past few years so I guess it’s good to have a reminder of these things, although of course I”m not glad they ruin books!

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